Hilary Duff hits back at Faye Dunaway for her recent remarks disparaging Duff’s acting chops.
I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don’t even know who she is, so you know, uh, I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too.
Nononononono, sweetie darling, you’ve buried the lead! While I have to applaud Duff’s decision to not go after Dunaway for being a crappy actress (really, while a fool’s errand for most to attempt, it would be particularly difficult for some Disney kid star to pull off), she’s gone about this thing the wrong way. She should have started off with the you-look-like-crap slam, then followed it up with something about Metamucil, adult diapers, or (for the truly bold) Norma Desmond. Jesus, lady, take a cue from people who really knew how to get at each other.
Like, for instance, Bette Davis who, upon hearing she’d be appearing in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? with her arch-nemesis, Joan Crawford, had Coke machines installed all over the set (Crawford was married to the CEO of Pepsi Co.). Or, hell, you could learn a thing or too from that fat bastard, Roger Ebert. After rightfully trashing Vincent Gallo’s steaming pile of cinematic stank, Gallo said called Ebert a “fat pig with the physique of a slave trader,” to which Ebert spectacularly (and Churchillianly) responded, “Although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of Brown Bunny. Gallo then put a “hex” on Ebert’s colon, to which Ebert responded that “even my colonoscopy was more entertaining than his film”.
See? Now go back to the drawing board and come up with something scathing, because if you don’t I can guarantee you Ms. Dunaway’s going to take every round you go with her.