Ingraham Beat Coulter To Calling Meghan McCain Fat

Oooooh…Ann Coulter’s gonna be PISSED! Her fellow skinny blonde conservative, Laura Ingraham, took all the easy Meghan McCain mockery before she had the chance!

INGRAHAM (mocking): Ok, Meghan. Do you think that anyone would be talking to you if you weren’t kind of cute and you weren’t the daughter of John McCain? Or do you just think that they would just think that you were just another Valley Girl gone awry?

MADDOW: You picked a fight with somebody who’s definitely going to fight back.

MCCAIN: Yeah. Well, if it was, you know, if it was too hot in the kitchen, I’d get out. I know what I’m doing and I know that I’m creating, she probably will respond, she already has, but I’m sure she’ll respond harder, but this dialogue should take place. It should. I think that you know, often times and I think it’s relevant because I am a Republican. I still consider myself a Republican and that’s why it’s relevant because I’m someone within the party.

INGRAHAM (mocking): How long before she totally totally abandons the Daily Beast and makes it official at the Huffington Post?

MCCAIN: And I think there’s an extreme on both parties and I hate extreme. I don’t understand. I have friends that are the most radically conservative and radically liberal people possibly ever and we all get along. We can find a middle ground.

INGRAHAM (mocking): Ok, I was really hoping that I was going to get that role in the Real World, but then I realized that, well, they don’t like plus-sized models. They only like the women who look a certain way. And on this 50th anniversary of Barbie, I really have something to say.

Awright, girlies, I know you get upset when one of your own says something bad about one of your bestest ever girlfriends, but come on…Meghan McCain? Really? She discredits herself when she opens her mouth, so why bother? I mean, that’s why I haven’t commented on either Laura Ingraham, Michelle Malkin, or Ann Coulter till now.

And why now? Selfish reasons. While watching poor Meghan McCain unknowingly embarrass herself on Maddow last night, I turned to my husband and said, “Coulter will call her a fat bimbo in 3…2…”

So, yeah, I’m just writing this to proclaim, once again, that I. know. mean. bitches.

So what’s next? Well, of course, all of Coulter’s BFF are going to chime in (ain’t a serious girlfight without your friends helping you out), and I’ll put my money on any or all of them attacking her useless degree, her status as only recently employed, and her recent decision to become a Republican to please her daddy, who pays her rent, since she doesn’t agree with conservative views on social issues and doesn’t have any economic beliefs that aren’t on a bumper sticker (“Pork bad”). Then it’ll be on to her family (her dad, who recently lost in a landslide to what the Right considers an “empty suit,” and her pill-popping mom), her clothes, her hair, and her makeup. And more fat jokes (“It sure doesn’t look like she doesn’t like pork” and the like). Pretty standard.

As a quick note, I’m so fucking tired of people saying, “I didn’t take [class name here] in college,” and using that as an excuse to not know anything about it (Meghan McCain claimed on Maddow–after saying how bad “pork” is–that she doesn’t want to venture opinions on economic issues, since she didn’t take econ in college). Read a goddamned book, and stop telling the world that your lack of intellectual curiosity is somehow an out. You’re in the public forum. Pick up a fucking newspaper. (Or all of them, if you’re the queen of the idiots, Sarah Palin.)

Sweet Jeebus, Stewart/Cramer May Be Better Than Frost/Nixon Too

Here’s the lesson we’ve learned this year: Don’t piss off late-night talk show hosts.

On a quick serious aside, what the hell kind of media world are we living in where Jon Stewart is acting as the best watchdog out there? Honestly, now, here’s a clip from earlier in the week from Joe Scarborough (admittedly, a functional retard):

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Scarborough is absolutely fucking right. Stewart and his staff do, in fact, “cherry-pick” video all day. But, guess what? That’s their job. And guess what else? It’s your fucking job, too, you illiterate boob. The whole goddamned point of having a news media is to inform the public about things they wouldn’t otherwise know. Repeating talking points, even colored with your opinion thereon, is not journalism. Finding something under a rock and shining a light on it is. It’s called “investigating,” which is what “investigatory journalism” is all about. You fuckwit.

Now, granted, this doesn’t apply to everything that might now be known (the color underwear James Carville is sporting today, for example, I could die happy not knowing). There are criteria that must be met (“Is it funny/embarrassing?”/”Is it important to know?”) for it to be actual comedy/news. But the process is the same. You twit. And, in this case, this was both. It is absolutely important for people to know that the people who are advising them on how to spend/invest their money are sometimes guessing, sometimes in bed with the companies they tout, and sometimes just fucking around because they think it’s fun. As such, a story like that is, by our aforementioned criterion, more newsworthy than, say, interviewing Carson Daly about why he thinks St. Patrick’s Day should be a national holiday. You fucking twit.

Let me reiterate what I’ve said before on this blog: I’m not really so much a fan of The Daily Show as it exists right now. The correspondents are weak, the writing’s sort of devolved into Stewart-as-caricature, and the interviews usually suck. That said, the type of reporting-as-comedy that they do is invaluable to the national conversation. And they do it because the rest of the journalistic world doesn’t.

Elmo/Gervais Better Than Frost/Nixon

Happy Friday! Here’s some pure hilarity!