Not-Joe Not-A-Plumber Not A Republican Either

Who knew he’d be so fickle?

Time magazine is reporting Joe (not his name) the Plumber (not his game) is quitting that GOP bitch since they won’t keep ridiculing the big-gubment-luvin’, volcano-monitoring, child-feeding hippies for their crazy economy stimulatin’ and book learnin’ and what not.

Big Government is never popular in theory, but the disaster aid, school lunches and prescription drugs that make up Big Government have become wildly popular in practice, especially now that so many people are hurting. Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he’s so outraged by GOP overspending, he’s quitting the party — and he’s the bull’s-eye of its target audience. But he also said he wouldn’t support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits. It’s no coincidence that many Republicans who voted against the stimulus have claimed credit for stimulus projects in their district — or that Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal stopped ridiculing volcano-monitoring programs after a volcano erupted in Alaska. “We can’t be the antigovernment party,” Snowe says. “That’s not what people want.”

Quite a week for the GOP. Specter’s opportunistic streak takes over, Cantor can’t stand up to Rush, Steele is still embarrassing, Alan Keyes is still alive and speaking, and now their mascot’s gone all squirrely. Maybe it’ll get better next week (Crist getting caught tonguing Boehner, perhaps?).

Arlen Specter Is A New Democrat, But Still An Old Fuckface

Oh, Arlen Specter, you’re such a power-hungry asshole. And, come 2010, you’ll still be a power-hungry asshole, but one without a pot to piss in on either side of the political spectrum.

Specter announces he won’t back EFCA or health care:

On the Employee Free Choice Act, which would allow for easier unionization, Specter strongly suggested — as he did during the speech announcing his party switch — that he would support a filibuster of the legislation. “I’m still against that bill,” he said. “Democrats are all for it. Republicans are all against it. I’m the critical vote. If I see that there are other issues where I feel a matter of conscience, I will continue a filibuster against legislation.”

On a public option for health insurance — which conservatives claim will end the private market, but most observers say could bring down the costs of coverage for millions of Americans — Specter said he would be in opposition. “That’s what I said and that’s what I meant,” he added later, when asked if he would vote “no” on public health care.

This is why he’s going to lose the primary in Pennsylvania, regardless of the letter next to his name. I don’t care what Joe Biden offered him; there’s no way ol’ Joey B. can guarantee no wet-behind-the-ear Democrat in all of PA isn’t going to be salivating at the idea he could run against this old douchebag, even if he does boast a “magic bullet” in his arsenal.

Farewell, fuckwit!

Secret Communist Arlen Specter Gives Dems Their Supermajority

Breaking news here from the NY Times:

Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania said on Tuesday he would switch to the Democratic party, presenting Democrats with a possible 60th vote and the power to break Senate filibusters as they try to advance the Obama administration’s new agenda…
Mr. Specter faced a primary challenge from former Republican Congressman Pat Toomey and polls showed him trailing Mr. Toomey. But he had previously resisted overtures to join the Democrats.

‘Atta boy, Senator.

So let’s sum up the GOP’s week so far, shall we?

1. Texas Governor Rick Perry talks about secession in the name of getting the Feds off his lawn.
2. Said Governor pleads for help with the Swine Flu outbreak.
3. Just as torture and its prosecution were becoming divisive and foremost in Americans’ minds, said outbreak puts health care back into the public consciousness, as well as how much the Feds help in times of crisis.
4. In said times of crisis, Americans pull together…except Rush Limbaugh, who tries to link Obama’s trip to Mexico with the outbreak.
5. After trying to bully the last of their Mohicans up in the Northeast, he defects, giving Dems the right to do whatever the fuck they want in the Senate.

Is this proof there’s a God? And that he hates Republicans?