I know I’ve already “hated on” (as the kids say) David Denby’s idiotic book, Snark, but he was just on NPR defending it, and I feel that something he said in his book’s defense really needs to be noted.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that this account was written by another loyal Wonkette reader:

He stammers through not knowing [the author of the piece on Chelsea Clinton, whom he’d claimed was female] was a dude before going on to say that [Wonkette] is, “mostly written by women… and reflects the nasty, mean nature of snark” or words to that effect.

(I’ve gotten into the habit of saying “douche” in a particularly low-voiced, diaphragm-based way when I think the situation/outfit/person merits it, and this is how I’ve chosen to transcribe it. It’s not perfect, but I think it works.)They can't throw spirals either.

So, let me get this straight, Denby: You think that snark is factless, immoral, and mean. And that a site which you insist is mostly written by women (NB: Wonkette has only one female associate editor) evinces this perfectly. And, when confronted by your own factual error, you reiterate that you’re really right about this site being nasty, snarky…oh, and also that it’s written by women.

Have I covered it there? Anything else I should add? E-fucking-GADS, man, what a colosally DOOOOOSH-y thing to say. Is your ex-wife currently living in a house you pay for while she’s banging your best friend or something? And what in holy hell was going through your mind when you made that argument on NPR? Yikes, did you think their not-so-secret feminist base, bowing to your obvious knowledge of all things female and intellectual, would then run out and buy your stinking corpse of a book?

So, yeah, I think this asshat needs to be specTACularly canned, dragged through the streets naked, and violated in every orifice he has. And to show I’m not discriminating based on gender, I firmly believe the same should happen to the editors of one of the targets in his book, Jezebel, who still employ the idiot bitches who went on Lizz Winstead’s show, Thinking And Drinking, and, in the name of “edgy feminist humor,” said that there is no such thing as a woman being raped if she brings the guy home first, since you know she wanted it. So, truly, I am an equal opportunity wisher-of-horrible-fates. (I’m with Lizz Winstead, though: The worst part about that those flaps of skin at Jezebel is that their fan base rallied to their support. Had those things been said by anyone with a penis, I’m curious how they’d have reacted. Really, ladies, there’s nothing wrong with pointing to when one of us has done or said something really stupid. It doesn’t make you a traitor, but being an apologist for the inane remarks does make you complicit in them.)

Alright, I think I’ve exorcised the ol’ noggin demons now. *DEEP breath*


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