Archive for February 12th, 2009

12
Feb
09

Oh, Ewww

Ick.  Ick.  Ickkkkkyyyyyy.

Nadya Suleman (the octuplets’ mom) on her VIRGINITY:

“Most mothers have had sex. But not me. My entire life, I’ve wanted children, but I’ve never wanted to deal with a husband, or boyfriend, or any one who would make sexual demands of me. When you love children the way I do, there’s no time for the distractions of domestic partnership. A man would only get in the way and I’ve got babies to hold. No man has ever sullied my life-oven with his flesh sword, and no man ever will.

Anyone have any idea why she got divorced?

Seriously, though, her kids should be checked for sex abuse. She sounds sexually traumatized and fixated on children, which is a dangerous combo (right, Michael Jackson?)

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12
Feb
09

New Ben And Jerry’s Flavors

After deciding on “Yes PeCan” as Obama’s official flavor, our favorite ice-creamin’ hippies opened up the e-floor for suggestions for Dubya’s. Here are some favorites:

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Grape Depression
The Housing Crunch
Abu Grape
Cluster Fudge
Nut’n Accomplished
Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker… Swirl
Iraqi Road
Chock ‘n Awe
WireTapioca
Impeach Cobbler
Guantanmallow
imPeachmint
Heck of a Job, Brownie!
Neocon Politan
Rocky Road to Fascism
The Reese’s-cession
Cookie D’oh!
Nougalar Proliferation
Death by Chocolate… and Torture
Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
Credit Crunch
Mission Pecanplished
Country Pumpkin
Chunky Monkey in Chief
WMDelicious
Chocolate Chimp
Bloody Sundae
Caramel Preemptive Stripe
I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands… with nuts

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HAHAHA Ben and Jerry were joking; they don’t name ice creams for war criminals (CaraMengele Crunch, anyone?). The end.

12
Feb
09

One. Sexy. Beast.

A quick comment to Massachusetts Congressman Michael Capuano:

Nick sack.

If only you hadn’t signed the bill into law making sure these douchenozzles would never be prosecuted, right? Then this grandstanding populist rant might not even be necessary, since there would have been some regulation going on.

Still, it takes a lotta balls to blatantly and hypocritically word-spank the very guys to whom you’re about to give basically unrestricted access to the U.S. Mint. Bravo, Signore.

***UPDATE: Some astute observer has pointed out the funniest part of this video: Barney Frank asks for oral. Brilliant***

12
Feb
09

Stating The Obvious

Well, they shouldn’t be that tough to spot, right?

Rahm’s Fingerprints All Over Package Tactics