Archive for February 19th, 2009


Ah, That Explains It

I was just wondering how a Utah senator could be so all-fired stupid that he’d go on the TV machine and proclaim gay people “mean. They want to talk about being nice. They’re the meanest buggers I have ever seen… It’s just like the Muslims.”

And then I saw his name.

Now I know why he’s driven to crazy-town by the very mention of our gay brethren. And, since he’s 100 years old, I’m guessing his playground taunting was especially relentless. I mean, who can even look at this guy’s name without tittering and thinking of buttsecks (cp: Wonkette)?

Ladies and gentleman, may I present, in all his glory(?)

Senator Buttars!


Listen Up, Pussies!


I think I’m in love. First, his awesomely unambiguous stance on waterboarding and torture, and now this.

An excerpt from Eric Holder’s speech in honor of Black History Month yesterday:

“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.

“We average Americans simply do not talk enough with each other about race. It is an issue we have never been at ease with and given our nation’s history, this is in some ways understandable. And yet, if we are to make progress in this area, we must feel comfortable enough with one another, and tolerant enough of each other, to have frank conversations about the racial matters that continue to divide us.

“As a nation we have done a pretty good job in melding the races in the workplace. We work with one another, lunch together and, when the event is at the workplace during work hours or shortly thereafter, we socialize with one another fairly well, irrespective of race.

“And yet even this interaction operates within certain limitations. We know, by ‘American instinct’ and by learned behavior, that certain subjects are off limits and that to explore them risks, at best embarrassment, and, at worst, the questioning of one’s character.

“And outside the workplace the situation is even more bleak in that there is almost no significant interaction between us. On Saturdays and Sundays, America in the year 2009 does not, in some ways, differ significantly from the country that existed some 50 years ago. This is truly sad.

“This will be, at first, a process that is both awkward and painful, but the rewards are, I believe, potentially great. The alternative is to allow to continue the polite, restrained mixing that now passes as meaningful interaction, but that in reality accomplishes very little.”

I can now comfortably taunt my Spanish friends by saying our Attorney General is sexier than their Attorney General.


A New Super Band?

Huh. Well, I just don’t know. Huh.

Band Members From Hanson, Smashing Pumpkins And Cheap Trick Form New Group Called Tinted Windows.

Los Angeles, CA (CNS) – Taylor Hanson of the siblings trio Hanson is joining Smashing Pumpkin’s former guitarist James Iha, Cheap Trick’s drummer Bun E. Carlos and Fountain of Wayne bassist Adam Schlesinger to form a new group called Tinted Windows.

The quartet have already recorded their debut album at the Stratosphere Sound Studios in New York, which Schlesinger and Iha co-own with Andy Chase of Ivy.

They will play their first major show at Billboard’s South by Southwest showcase on March 20 at Pangaea in Austin, Texas.

The LP is set to hit the stores this spring on a label that is yet to be announced, Billboard reports.

What, Ted Nugent wasn’t available?  I hear Hammer could use some cash too.

On the one hand, I’m upset that anyone from the Smashing Pumpkins is giving anyone from Fountains of Wayne or Hanson the indie cred they need to perform at SXSW. On the other, I’m heartened (and giggling) to see the word “Taint” in their name. Feh, I suppose I’ll reserve judgment on this until it becomes clear whether or not Iha’s back on the smack (and spreading it around).



This is low. Even for Murdoch and his cronies:

The New York Post is in trouble, since they just published the most racist cartoon I’ve seen in my lifetime (and directed at the president, to boot!).

Amazingly enough, I think Sharpton’s tone is quite measured in his response:

Being that the stimulus bill has been the first legislative victory of President Barack Obama … and has become synonymous with him, it is not a reach to wonder: are they inferring that a monkey wrote the last bill?… The Post should at best clarify what point they were trying to make, or in fact reprimand their cartoonist.

That’s it??? Dammit, man, where’s your outrage??? Has Obama already lifted our hopes (and our level of national discourse) so high that blatant and horrifying racism doesn’t bother us as much as it used to??? Call me crazy (the voices in my head sure do), but I think this may be possible.

Take, for example, Michele Bachmann’s latest sermon on the mount, in which she not only claims our nation is run by Socialists (we already know how much she wants to reinstate McCarthyist witch trials within Congress, so this part ain’t news), but complains that, “We’re running out of rich people in this country.”

Normally, I’d go on a rant about this, outraged at her implications that (a) rich people are somehow more important than the filthy proletariat over whose bloated and stinking corpses they’re forced to step each morning, and (b) she herself is not well off. I was surprised, though, to find myself giggle when I read this. I then went to grab some milk and cookies, watch a “Flight of the Conchords” (incredibly enough, about how evil Aussies are…hahaha, Rupert, you’re descended from criminals), and hit the sack. But I honestly felt no anger at the time. No bewildered and horrified fury. Just amusement at the GOP’s staggeringly misguided attempts to find their voice and their way, now that they are confronted with the fact that their majority was neither permanent nor popular.

Is this what the GOP has been feeling the last 8 years? No wonder they were always so relaxed…


Can You Blame Them?

I’m mostly just writing about this, because it’s eerily similar to a hilarious tragic incident that happened while I was living in New York. The conversation that follows happened literally every time someone attempted to relay some important news about a total twat we knew:

“Did you hear? Susan* got stoned in Yemen.”
“What? So?”
“Nonono, like she got stoned.” (pantomime throwing motion)
“Oh my God, really? In Yemen?”
“The fuck is she doing there?”
“I dunno, but she got stoned.”
“Huh. Well, I guess I hope she’s OK.” (back to drinking beer)

*Name changed to protect said twat’s privacy.

Anyhow, I’m relaying this story because I imagine this is the exact conversation that is now traveling around the Vanity Fair/The Nation/Slate/The Atlantic newsroom, after reading the following story on

Christopher Hitchens was just beaten up in Lebanon.

February 2009