From “Big Tent” To “Ginormous Tools”

Is the GOP trying to be the party of douchebags, nutjobs, and the deranged? Cause, Jesus God, man, are they ever championing the worst of the worst lately. Now, normally I wouldn’t mention this, since…well, I don’t really care if they implode, and I kind of don’t want to alert them to the fact that they are. Still, in light of a one-party democratic government not working for anybody anytime anywhere, I’m going to let those on the other side of the fence know my thoughts on their presidential hopefuls.

I’ll admit it. I’d LOVE to watch Palin run for POTUS in 2012. Seriously, how much fun would it be to see that? Palin answering serious questions about why she skipped the conference on energy hosted by the nation’s governors, even though her state is, shall we say, interested in what happens there? Brilliant. Bringing back up Troopergate? Her husband’s meddling in state affairs? Her hypocrisy and stupidity and willful ignorance of the basic facts of nature (her assertion that we piss away money on fruit fly research while sounding her call to join her in doing that same research was especially priceless) is just darling!

Kathryn-Jean Lopez wants that champion of the working man, Rick Santelli, as her running mate? Better yet. Rocketing to stardom by calling about-to-be-homeless grandmothers “losers” while being cheered on by your stockbroking friends (who, it has to be noted and noted and noted, are on the goddamned gubment cheese themselves) will play awesome in the square states. Go for it!

But I have to say, and it’s probably because I was there for Katrina and its aftermath, I think Jindal’s the one to beat. The notion that Republicans should be so playing to the Christian right as to run a man who’s performed exorcisms is just so good it had to be fattening. I know, I know, they think he’d recreate the whole “Big Tent” mythology, since he’s young and brown and all, but his grandstanding refusal to take stimulus money takes said fattening cake.

Granted, his refusal of government funds is, on its face, infuriating. However, knowing that there’s no way the state legislature is going to let him turn down money when the state is in such need (a fact of which I’m sure he’s more than well aware) has tempered my rage and brought me to the conclusion that he HAS to run! Watching him explain how his claim that Kathleen Blanco’s refusal of federal help, which he says is what led to the poor governmental response (and won him his current spot), is somehow different or worse than this…oh, sweet fancy Jesus, pleasepleaseplease let him run!

Oh, to be a fly on the town hall wall while Jindal explains to the bitters why he would have rather reallocate non-existent funds to help very-existent people…but then, to make that happen, maybe we’d need more of that silly science research.


2 Responses to “From “Big Tent” To “Ginormous Tools””

  1. 1 Jen
    February 23, 2009 at 17:19

    This will probably get me skewered, but I’m sick of Louisiana holding its hand out. What happened to the first rounds of money that was given to the state to “rebuild?” No one really knows and rebuilding didn’t really happen. Now the state is acting entitled once again. It made me sick when I lived there and now that I’m out of the state, it really comes across as absurd. Very few plans have been put in place and very little actual rebuilding has happened. Of course, if you only look at NOLA and only look at the Quarter and the CBD, it seems like leaps and bounds have been made. But look elsewhere and the progress is ridiculous.

    I don’t have real warm and fuzzy feelings for Jindal but I do at least find his “rejection” of the money amusing. Of course, he’s not really rejecting the money, he just wants it to go to rebuilding roads rather than to bolstering unemployment benefits. Because that extra 25 or 30 a month is really going to keep someone living a comfortable lifestyle.

  2. 2 Chitra
    February 23, 2009 at 19:51

    Don’t get me started about Jindal! As a fellow brownie, i at first got all excited when i heard that he had been elected. Once I found out about his views, his cynical conversion to Christianity, etc etc, my stomach was turned. Ugh. Watching any of these clowns run for president, however, should be quite amusing.

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