25
Feb
09

Presidential Address: Video And Drinking Game!


If you didn’t watch it, here’s your chance! If you did, here’s your chance to get hammered!

(God bless Ken Layne, who came up with this:)

* “This will not be easy.” — One sullen slurp.
* “Challenging times.” — Try to drink from the side of your mouth without spilling.
* “Bipartisan” or “bipartisanship.” — One shot, feel up somebody else’s girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse.
* “Same old politics” and/or “politics as usual.” — Two quick gulps.
* “Played by the rules.” — Ask somebody to get you another drink and then drink their drink while they’re in the kitchen.
* “Recovery.” — One hit off your beverage. (You should have spares at hand.)
* “Recovery.com” — Three drinks and punch anybody in the room who sort of looks like Biden.
* “Resolve.” — Take a shot.
* Camera stops on various “opposition” figures such as Cantor: If you’re male, do a line of meth and try to get another “straight” guy to blow you in the bathroom.
* “Discipline.” — Take a very careful shot.
* Camera stops on Hero Pilot “Andrew” Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger III: Women and children take a drink, men go outside and have a smoke.
* “Breaking ground.” — One manly gulp.
* “Infrastructure.” — Two sips and check the fridge for supplies.
* Any mention of the Taliban: Put a “burqa” (pillowcase) over the heads of any women and gaily drink with your male friends.
* “Aggressive action.” — Chug a beer or glass of wine.
* Any variation of “best days are ahead.” — Finish all the booze in the house, weep.

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