04
Mar
09

Well, I’ll Be Shitbagged and Dragged To Fucktown…

It’s anti-cussing week, cunt faces! Oh, for fuck’s sake…

This kind of bullshit always reminds me of Spalding Gray’s take on cursing, and the one that I am teaching my own young-and-moldable mind:

“But Dad, ‘oh my’ is not a bad word, is it?”

“No Forrest, I’ve told you over and over that there are no bad words. A word only starts to take on a good or bad meaning when it’s used in context, and we’ll discuss that one later. Also, ‘oh’ and ‘my’ are two words, not one.”

“But my teacher said we could not say, ‘Oh my God.’”

“Forrest, you can say any word you want. You can say ‘God.’ You can say ‘my.’ You can say ‘oh.’ You can say ‘God my oh.’ Now let’s go over the lesson again. What might your teacher think is a real bad word? Let’s take a really good bad word. Let’s take ’shit.’ Well now, we don’t have the word ’shit’ yet, do we, so we’re going to have to make it up. Create it. Done. Now, I’m going to write the word ’shit’ in the air. It starts with the letter ’s.’ Now is ’s’ a bad letter? Does it smell? No. My first name begins with ’s.’ It’s kind of a nice snaky letter. Now we make the ‘h.’ Anything bad about that? No. Now we have ‘i’ and now ‘t.’ There it is Forrest, there’s the word, s-h-i-t, written in the air. Now please don’t mistake the word for the substance in the toilet. The substance in the toilet is the thing-in-itself. It smells and it has some offensive properties. Don’t confuse the word with the substance. The word is only a signifier. Now Forrest, the Bible had it somewhat wrong, or at least the Book of John did. The Book of John says, ‘In the beginning was the word.’ The opening of Genesis is more right on. It says, ‘In the beginning God created . . .’ Now, you can forget about God for the time being and just think of the act of creation. That’s all verb. That’s all action. So we have the act, the creation, and then we have the substance created. That’s what we call the thing in and for itself, and then we have the name. You see, only after it’s something does it get named. Now look, wait, I’ve got another idea. Let’s try writing the word ’shit’ with a stick here in the dirt. Will writing it in the dirt make it a dirty word? No, because we have to carve the dirt out with a stick in order to make the word. So it really is an absence of dirt, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t agree more. There is no such thing as an inherently bad word; words only have the power you give them. The ones that derive from hatred (slurs, for example) incite hatred, and are therefore inappropriate. Those that derive from scatological/sexual origins, though, are only evil in the eyes of the puritanical and judgmental.

In the interest of “equal time,” though, LA County Supervisors, I propose a week devoid of stupid words like “cussing.” That word makes my teeth grind.

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