Archive for April 1st, 2009

01
Apr
09

Glenn Beck Is Pure Poetry

Who said this generation lacks for a clear, definitive poetic voice? From Salon:


MEATBALLS AT THE FURNITURE STORE
Somebody said let’s make Swedish meatballs at the furniture store
And somebody else said, that’s a stupid idea; nobody’s going to want meatballs at the furniture store.
And the first guy on that first day, his ass was on the line.
And so one customer came for lunch, he knew he had to get rid of the meatballs

And he was like, yeah, you want meatballs from the furniture store?
And they’re like, yeah, I guess; my wife has been dragging them around forever.
Anything. Just whatever. I was thinking about eating an ottoman
A little while ago but then meatballs has actual meat in it

Get ready for the return of the Ottoman Empire!

Get ready for the return of the Ottoman Empire!

And then the guy behind the counter said, well, I’m not really sure
But ya, ya, sure. So then he takes the meatballs
And he has to put them on a huge plate
Because he has to get rid of them.
Otherwise, you know, the big Swede is going to say
That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
And so now that one fat guy who had the big bowl of meatballs
Now buys all of his furniture there and has told all of his fat friends,
Buy your furniture there because your wife will walk around
And you’ll have an hour worth of eating meatballs
And that’s what happened.

(“The Glenn Beck Program,” Premiere Radio Networks, Nov. 21, 2007)

And a meme is born…

Seriously, I owe my sincerest gratitude to the folks over at Salon for listening to the crazy and distilling it into its purest form. Coping with a teething baby with a ruptured eardrum ain’t easy; hilarity is much-appreciated.

Advertisements
01
Apr
09

Cheney’s Got Moles!

No, not the cancer kind (evil never dies).

Seymour Hersch reports Cheney is employing old intelligence tricks to keep his fat doughy fingers in our collective pie.

“Are you saying that you think Vice President Cheney is still having a chilling effect on people who might otherwise be coming forward,” asked Gross. “I’ll make it worse,” answered Hersh, adding that he believes Cheney “put people back” in government to “stay behind” in order to “tell him what’s going on” and perhaps even “do sabotage”:

HERSH: I’ll make it worse. I think he’s put people left. He’s put people back. They call it a stay behind. It’s sort of an intelligence term of art. When you leave a country and, you know, you’ve driven out the, you know, you’ve lost the war. You leave people behind. It’s a stay behind that you can continue to contacts with, to do sabotage, whatever you want to do. Cheney’s left a stay behind. He’s got people in a lot of agencies that still tell him what’s going on. Particularly in defense, obviously. Also in the NSA, there’s still people that talk to him. He still knows what’s going on. Can he still control policy up to a point? Probably up to a point, a minor point. But he’s still there. He’s still a presence.

Quick side note: Has anyone ever seen Seymour Hersch and Dick Cheney in the same room at the same time? There seems to be a lot of unprecedented access to ol’ Cheney in Hersch’s world.