01
Apr
09

Glenn Beck Is Pure Poetry

Who said this generation lacks for a clear, definitive poetic voice? From Salon:


MEATBALLS AT THE FURNITURE STORE
Somebody said let’s make Swedish meatballs at the furniture store
And somebody else said, that’s a stupid idea; nobody’s going to want meatballs at the furniture store.
And the first guy on that first day, his ass was on the line.
And so one customer came for lunch, he knew he had to get rid of the meatballs

And he was like, yeah, you want meatballs from the furniture store?
And they’re like, yeah, I guess; my wife has been dragging them around forever.
Anything. Just whatever. I was thinking about eating an ottoman
A little while ago but then meatballs has actual meat in it

Get ready for the return of the Ottoman Empire!

Get ready for the return of the Ottoman Empire!

And then the guy behind the counter said, well, I’m not really sure
But ya, ya, sure. So then he takes the meatballs
And he has to put them on a huge plate
Because he has to get rid of them.
Otherwise, you know, the big Swede is going to say
That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
And so now that one fat guy who had the big bowl of meatballs
Now buys all of his furniture there and has told all of his fat friends,
Buy your furniture there because your wife will walk around
And you’ll have an hour worth of eating meatballs
And that’s what happened.

(“The Glenn Beck Program,” Premiere Radio Networks, Nov. 21, 2007)

And a meme is born…

Seriously, I owe my sincerest gratitude to the folks over at Salon for listening to the crazy and distilling it into its purest form. Coping with a teething baby with a ruptured eardrum ain’t easy; hilarity is much-appreciated.

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