Archive for April 7th, 2009


Palin Vs. Johnston In Greatest White Trash Cage Match Ever!

One side’s boasting a recent meth lab arrest. Pretty good, but the other side fires back with a sister-in-law repeatedly breaking and entering for the purpose of robbery. One side blabs to the tabloids, another shoots it down, and the first side goes on that bastion of journalistic integrity (“The Tyra Show”) to defend his “good” name.

Here’s the part that kills me. If you have any political advisors whatsoever, they all tell you the same thing about this sort of deal: Just say you don’t comment on your child’s personal life. Period. Done. End of story. Or you say that your children are trying to find their way in a compex and very adult situation the best they know how. What you DON’T do is the following: shoot back with claims that he’s lying about the whole thing. For chrissake, does no one in the Palin camp understand how to keep scandal OUT of the headlines? Oh well, here’s hoping they never learn, since this is fucking hilarious.

“Levi has never lived under the same roof as Bristol or any of the Palins,” Palin spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton told CNN.

In an interview that aired in full Monday on the Tyra Banks Show, Johnston said he moved in to the Palin household shortly before the birth of son Tripp last December.

“I just wanted to be there for her when she had the baby,” Johnston said, adding the two were allowed to share a room.

“Do you really think the governor and Todd would have allowed that,” Stapleton said in an e-mail.

Screw? Sure. Have a baby? Absolutely. Be forced into the public eye at the GOP convention? Most assuredly. But LIVE TOGETHER??? There’s no WAY Mother Of The Year, Sarah Palin, would let her young daughter take such a serious step with an eqyally young and stupid boy.

I tend to believe this, though. After all, this was the only move I thought Sarah Palin made in this whole debacle that sounded both logical and good for her child and grandchild. So of course it had to be balderdash.

Personally, I just think Palin’s getting worried Michele Bachmann is taking her wingnut white trash mantle, and is trying to claw her way back on top. Here’s a hint: Less talk about your mundane teenage pregnancy scandal, and more talk of armed revolution!

April 2009