21
Apr
09

Jesus, Cheney And Gingrich, It Was A Handshake, Not A Handjob!

Egads, the right’s just going ape-shit nutbar over Obama daring to shake hands with Hugo Chavez. First, of course, Cheney had to shit all over it:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney told Fox News Channel’s Sean Hannity that President Obama’s handshake with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez “was not helpful” and could lead “foes” of the U.S. to “think they’re dealing with a weak president.”

Since it rhymes so nice, Newt followed suit:

Appearing on Fox News Channel’s “Fox & Friends,” Gingrich said: “This does look a lot like Jimmy Carter. Carter tried weakness and the world got tougher and tougher because the predators, the aggressors, the anti-Americans, the dictators, when they sense weakness, they all start pushing ahead.”

First of all, Hugo Chavez is a small man with a small man complex. Treating him like he’s a Castro is exactly what he wants. Treating him like a man so insignificant that passive civility is his due…well, suffice to say he’d rather be thought of as a villain by us.

Secondly, these claims about strengthening foreign resolve against us by using diplomacy? And you want to use the visage of Carter as a boogeyman in that regard? Let’s take a look at Carter’s record, mkay?

President Carter established diplomatic relations with the People’s Republic of China and made good on a long-standing American promise to return control of the Panama Canal to the Panamanians. After negotiating the necessary treaties with Panama, Carter prevailed in an exceptionally contentious ratification fight in the Senate.

The outstanding achievement of the Carter presidency was the peace settlement between Israel and Egypt…

Since leaving the White House, Jimmy Carter’s personal diplomacy has helped to defuse international crises in hot spots from North Korea to Haiti. In 2002, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts…

And Cheney’s policies of torture and otherworldly a-hole behavior?

The crisis in Iraq, coupled with radical shifts in U.S. policy in the Middle East and elsewhere, gave extremists a new focus, allowing radical groups to widen their appeal among Muslims and others…The world today is clearly a more dangerous place than it was on September 10, 2001, or last year before the invasion of Iraq. This is true for Americans. But it is equally true for Spaniards, Indonesians, and most especially, Iraqis. (This whole article is really thorough and an excellent read.)

The point is: Jesus Christ, kids, settle the fuck down arready.

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