Archive for May 1st, 2009

01
May
09

Who Would Jesus Waterboard?

Any camel-jockeyin’ motherfuckin’ heathen in his path, that’s who (according to Christians):

The more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists, according to a new survey.

I’m more shocked at the shock at this survey than the outcome thereof. Waterboarding was a special delight for the Spanish Inquisitors back in the day, and for the same reason (the ol’ “They don’t agree with our fundamental beliefs, so they’re not people” defense). Still, it begs the question:

If God is omnipotent, could He create some followers so self-contradictory and violently misguided that they would eventually waterboard themselves?

Here’s hopin’.

01
May
09

Michele Bachmann Is No Smalley Hoot

Happy Friday, all! I may just designate this day Michele Bachmann Hilarity day every week, but…she’s really too much gift for only one day. Regardless, here’s some more herstory (shout out to the Feminazis in the house) to get you ready for the weekend.

For each historical inaccuracy now, drink!

In case you didn’t spot ‘em, here they are:

1. It’s Smoot-Hawley.

2. It was passed in 1930. FDR hadn’t been elected yet.

3. It was repealed by FDR in 1934.

4. It was written by Republicans. It’s actually quite famous. Really, it’s one of the cornerstones of conservative thinking from that era, and is a frequent example in any Economics 101 class (although I’m betting Olbermann joins me in first hearing about it from Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off).

Go back again now and watch. And drink. And again. And again.

01
May
09

Michele Bachmann Outdone!

Crazy like a Foxx…

Virginia Foxx just couldn’t sit back and let Michele Bachmann get all the attention for being the wingnuttiest wingnut ever to wingnut. After hearing what was sure to be another Bachmann classic (fighting against the extension of hate crimes legislation to include homophobic crimes), she launched into the following diatribe about how Matthew Shepard wasn’t killed because he was gay, the whole thing’s a big liberal hoax, and we’re all a bunch of idiot pig-fuckers if we think different.

BONUS: She did this in front of Matthew Shepard’s mother.

Congratulations, Virginia Foxx, you’re officially less funny and more monstrous than Bachmann could ever hope to be!




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