Who Would Jesus Waterboard?

Any camel-jockeyin’ motherfuckin’ heathen in his path, that’s who (according to Christians):

The more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists, according to a new survey.

I’m more shocked at the shock at this survey than the outcome thereof. Waterboarding was a special delight for the Spanish Inquisitors back in the day, and for the same reason (the ol’ “They don’t agree with our fundamental beliefs, so they’re not people” defense). Still, it begs the question:

If God is omnipotent, could He create some followers so self-contradictory and violently misguided that they would eventually waterboard themselves?

Here’s hopin’.


4 Responses to “Who Would Jesus Waterboard?”

  1. May 3, 2009 at 23:00

    I’d be afraid to post it on MSNBC. People seem to be developing a habit of taking Logan Bluetooth seriously.

    • 3 jabberinwookie
      May 4, 2009 at 12:46

      He is Wolverine, yes?

      • May 4, 2009 at 14:49

        He is…beyond our control. It’s kind of like the rise of the machines, except instead of psychopathic cyborgs with laser weapons killing humans, it’s a soulless, posh-addicted efficiency expert armed with a laptop and an inexplicably right wing outlook on life, given his various lifestyle choices.

        There’s not really anything we can do about him.

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