Archive for May 7th, 2009

07
May
09

Not-Joe Not-A-Plumber Not A Republican Either

Who knew he’d be so fickle?

Time magazine is reporting Joe (not his name) the Plumber (not his game) is quitting that GOP bitch since they won’t keep ridiculing the big-gubment-luvin’, volcano-monitoring, child-feeding hippies for their crazy economy stimulatin’ and book learnin’ and what not.

Big Government is never popular in theory, but the disaster aid, school lunches and prescription drugs that make up Big Government have become wildly popular in practice, especially now that so many people are hurting. Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he’s so outraged by GOP overspending, he’s quitting the party — and he’s the bull’s-eye of its target audience. But he also said he wouldn’t support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits. It’s no coincidence that many Republicans who voted against the stimulus have claimed credit for stimulus projects in their district — or that Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal stopped ridiculing volcano-monitoring programs after a volcano erupted in Alaska. “We can’t be the antigovernment party,” Snowe says. “That’s not what people want.”

Quite a week for the GOP. Specter’s opportunistic streak takes over, Cantor can’t stand up to Rush, Steele is still embarrassing, Alan Keyes is still alive and speaking, and now their mascot’s gone all squirrely. Maybe it’ll get better next week (Crist getting caught tonguing Boehner, perhaps?).

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07
May
09

The Hell?

So Heather Mac Donald, of SecularRight.org fame(?), just woke up in what she hopes to be her own sick, rolled over the come-encrusted sheets to find her laptop beneath all the popper bottles. At least, that’s what I’m assuming must have preceded this type of ramble (via Andrew Sullivan):

It is no secret that resistance to homosexuality is highest among the black population (though probably other ethnic minorities are close contenders). I fear that it will be harder than usual to persuade black men of the obligation to marry the mother of their children if the inevitable media saturation coverage associates marriage with homosexuals. Is the availability of homosexual marriage a valid reason to shun the institution? No, but that doesn’t make the reaction any less likely.

What are the chances that gay marriage would further doom marriage among blacks? I don’t know. Again, if someone can persuade me that the chances are zero, then I would be much more sanguine. But anything more than zero, I am reluctant to risk.

Look, Heather, I’m sorry that the hot black dude who fucked you eight ways to Sunday last night hasn’t called. Really. But that’s no reason to start a race-baiting diatribe, likening black men to the kind of pre-adolescent idiots that would refrain from doing something just because people they might not want to be associated with.

See, Miss Mac Donald, here’s the thing: Regardless of their homophobia (a “fact,” the veracity of which is still waaaay up for dispute), black people are able to make up their own minds. Really, it’s true! Regardless of how many incendiary racist and/or homophobic images assault their fully-functioning brains during an average day, black people can formulate logic and make decisions (an ability that I’m sure amazes and confuses someone such as yourself, but I digress).

Besides, the notion that gay marriage would somehow further taint a notion that was not already tainted in someone’s mind is ludicrous. If seeing a gay couple tie the knot is all it takes to dissuade someone from marrying someone else, methinks the relationship might be in trouble before the ink’s dry on the license.

And, you fucking stupid twat, black people voted in the last election, didn’t they? Even though idiot racist asshats like you did? So your argument’s shit on basically all levels, not the least of which is human. Quot erat demonstratum, you evil little troll.

07
May
09

Save Michele Bachmann!


Nonononono!!!!

Elwyn Tinklenberg is going to run against Michele Bachmann again! For those who don’t remember, he barely lost to her last time, probably because she had only just said one totally insane thing at the time of the election. Given the veritable cavalcade of horse diarrhea that has emanated from her gaping maw since then, this guy may well take her public forum away from her in 2010.

But, no! What do you have to offer to the humor addicts of the United States, Elwyn Tinklenburg? Your name? Sure, it’s hilarious, but it’s kind of one-note. What kind of daily hilarious and public fuckups are YOU willing to make, man???

Next thing you know, Alan Keyes will be run over by a bus, Sarah Palin will be relegated to housewifery, and the world will never laugh again.