Posts Tagged ‘buttars

23
Feb
09

Condit Exonerated: A Bad Week for the GOP


Boy, do you ever have one of those weeks where just nothing seems to be going your way? Like maybe your kid decides she’s going to read only Sylvia Plath for the rest of her life, your boss decides your talent really lies in retail, and you find out your wife’s boning her way through the phone book? Well, then, you can relate to the week our country’s Republicans have just had.  Yup, the GOP’s just gotten through one doozy of a shitter, and are probably all curled up with a hot cup of cocoa, a good book (I’m betting it’s a Reagan memoir), and are just hoping Calgon can take them away from all this:

1. Obama’s stimulus got passed without their support.

2. Total idiot, Chris Buttars, may be coming to the end of his reign of terror.

3. Obama’s popularity tops Jesus in some wacky poll (and we all know how well that worked out for the Beatles).

4. Your own people are trying to vie for the stimulus money they voted against. Worse yet, the hippie media knows about it.

5. Your super-duper BFFs over at the Post finally went too far, and even Big Papa Murdoch’s pissed enough to make them apologize.

6. That apology is so horrible and half-to-no-assed, it incites the world to take notice of their asshattery (and, maybe worse, Spike Lee to call on athletes and celebrities to stop talking to them).

7. And now it’s looking like Chandra Levy really was just the victim of some maniac, and not the Democratic representative of anywhere.

Let’s all just bow our heads for a moment for our fallen brothers-in-nationality-only.

There. Back to evisceration.

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19
Feb
09

Ah, That Explains It


I was just wondering how a Utah senator could be so all-fired stupid that he’d go on the TV machine and proclaim gay people “mean. They want to talk about being nice. They’re the meanest buggers I have ever seen… It’s just like the Muslims.”

And then I saw his name.

Now I know why he’s driven to crazy-town by the very mention of our gay brethren. And, since he’s 100 years old, I’m guessing his playground taunting was especially relentless. I mean, who can even look at this guy’s name without tittering and thinking of buttsecks (cp: Wonkette)?

Ladies and gentleman, may I present, in all his glory(?)

Senator Buttars!