Posts Tagged ‘DHS


Michele Bachmann Is Janice Dickinson, But Crazier And Less Fun

Separated At Birth

Michele Bachman cold h8s Janet Napolitano, and wants her ass outta DHS. And, of course she does. Because Napolitano DARED complete a study ordered by Bush that looked into the extremist movements on both sides of the political aisle. Dammit, Janet, don’t you know only hippies are dangerous? Have you ever been cornered in an elevator with a bunch of people wearing patchouli???

So, anyway, something occurred to me while watching her rant:

Namely, I felt I had sort of seen it before, but been more entertained.

Crazy? Check. Hot, in an overly-Botoxed way? Check. More adorable than scary when ranting about imaginary threats? Check.

Has anyone ever seen these two in the same room together?


DHS Report On Far-Right Nutjobs Ordered By Their Own Lord And Master

Oh dear. The poor extreme right. First, they get their panties all in a bunch because they’ve been reported on by the Department of Homeland Security for their increasingly dangerous extremism. And Fox News just happened to catch some of that rage in a bottle so we can watch/read it in perpetuity, per ThinkProgress:

– ANDREA TANTAROS: It’s free speech and the Obama administration is trying to shut it down.

– JAY ALAN SEKULOW: The Obama administration here under Department of Homeland Security has allowed a new regime to come into place that basically says this: Our focus is going to be on the right-wing groups.

– SEAN HANNITY: What do you think of that interpretation, especially coming from a guy that started his political career in the home of an unrepentant terrorist who bombed the Pentagon and capital and sat in Reverend Wright’s church for 20 years?

– DANA PERINO: If Bush had done that we would be having a very different conversation. It wouldn’t have taken a week to find it out. There would have been a special prosecutor. We would have had to come out and apologize.

Oh, Dana Perino. You’re so pretty. And so dumb. That must be why your boss didn’t trust you enough to tell you that these reports WERE of his own doing. And Fox News has it again!

However, this morning, Fox News’s Catherine Herridge revealed that the report, along with an earlier report on radicalized left-wing groups, was actually “requested by the Bush administration” but not completed until recently:

HERRIDGE: Well this is an element of the story which has largely gone unreported. One looks at right-wing groups, as you mentioned. And a second is on left-wing groups. Significantly, both were requested by the Bush administration but not finished until President Bush left office.


First of all, I’m awaiting Ms. Herridge’s dismissal/disavowal/retraction of her dastardly fact-based reporting.

Secondly, and more importantly, I’m hoping this revelation will teach the extreme right something. After all, this was the President whose wire-tapping of everyone under the sun (including a member of Congress), was famous. What’s happening here is what happened in the story of the frog and the scorpion. Here’s a refresher on it:

A frog sees a scorpion on the side of a river. The scorpion asks the frog for a ride to the other side, to which the frog replies, “But if I give you a ride, you’ll bite me.” The scorpion reassures the frog that that’s impossible, since then the frog would sink and they would both be doomed to watery graves. The frog concedes, puts the scorpion on its back, and starts swimming. Halfway across, the scorpion bites the frog, and they both die.

Some say that you should take away from this that mutual destruction is inherent to dangerous alliances. As for me, I think the point is the following: Froggy, my friend, you knew what the scorpion’s nature was when you joined up with him. It’s a tough lesson, but still a necessary one.

In short, I envision the following conversation between teabaggers and Bush:

Teabagger: How could you spy on us?
Bush, holding up a copy of the Patriot Act: You knew what I was when you picked me up.