Posts Tagged ‘penn


Pollster Geeks Try To Quell PUMA Rage, Will Inevitably Fail

It had to happen: The revelation that John Edwards’ campaign was always going to be an epic failure (whether the voters wanted it that way or not) had prompted pus-weeping swamp toad, Mark Penn, to speculate that, had Edwards been honorable and dropped out before Iowa, Hillary would be POTUS and Obama would be back washing dishes “where he belongs” in Chicago. Of course, he’s ignoring the fact that, had Edwards been honorable about anything ever in his rotten life, he probably wouldn’t have fucked around on his dying wife, then made her parade around saying what a great guy he is. But I digress.

So, anyway, it looks like that set the pollsters to work, and they’ve concluded many, many things, all of which point to Hillary never having a chance against Obama with or without Edwards. Specifically, in Iowa, a state Mark Penn swears up and down Hillary would have won without Edwards’ name on the ballot:

The Des Moines Register’s Iowa Poll, taken in the closing days of the caucus campaign, showed that in fact Obama was the second choice of more Edwards supporters than Clinton was. The numbers? Among Edwards’ supporters, 41 percent said Obama was their second choice, compared to 25 percent who said Clinton was their second choice.

Sorry, Penn and PUMAs everywhere, but there it is in black and white: God hates ugly. The end.


Ann Coulter Rejects Sean Penn’s Request For Epic Hate Fuck Cameo In Plame Movie

Yup, Sean Penn wanted Ann Coulter to be in his new movie about Valerie Plame. Good call, Ann. You wouldn’t have been two steps in the door before you were chained to a radiator, an apple in your mouth, hippie propaganda filling your ears, and God knows what happening to the rest of your openings.

Besides, now Sean Penn can get back to the single silliest Hollywood affair in history: the one he’s having with Lindsay Lohan.


But Is It Acting?

In case you don’t know this great bit of Hollywood lore, it was said that, in order to prepare himself for a scene in Marathon Man in which his character was supposed to have been kept awake for days on end, Dustin Hoffman himself refused to go to sleep all night. When his co-star Laurence Olivier learned of this, he asked Hoffman, “Have you ever tried acting, dear boy?”

This is how I feel about Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Don’t get me wrong: I think he’s amazing in it, and should rightfully have garnered his many nominations. I do not, however, think he should be winning acting awards. Why? Let’s take a quick gander at character vs. reality, shall we?

Randy “The Ram” Robinson: Wrestler-cum-actor
Mickey “El Marielito” Rourke: Actor-cum-boxer
Randy: Hugely popular in the 80’s.
Rourke: Likewise.
Randy: Relegated to the trash bin of his profession as a relic.
Rourke: Relegated to the trash bin of his profession as a douche.
Randy: Estranged from family because he’s kind of an asshole.
Rourke: Arrested by the LAPD in 1994 and charged with spousal abuse.

OK, now, like I said, I think it was both brave and spectacular that, given these embarassing similarities, Rourke put aside both ego (and, reportedly, any money whatsoever) to do this role. After all, the only aging actress who would take on the role of Norma Desmond was one of the few who still had a thriving career (Mae West was, I believe, particularly acid in her refusal of the part). Still, when up against people who had to completely transform themselves to play a role (last I checked, although a liberal Bay Area resident, Sean Penn was neither gay nor cuddly-loveable), I just think this should be taken into account.

Although I am grateful for Rourke’s reappearance so I have an excuse to plead for the republication of his book of poetry.  Or was it just a dream that it existed?