Has Fat Dickless Slob Larry Summers Ever Done Anything Good Ever In His Fat Dickless Life?

I’ve had it with this asshat being part of Obama’s cabinet. He may indeed be the smartest guy ever in the history of mankind, but he is a worldclass asshole, virtually unparalleled within either party.

As we all know, he touts as one of his bonafides his previous post as president of Harvard. Till he said girls are stupid and can’t do math and was forced to leave.

He then went on to head up the World Bank during our last worstest recession (1991).

He was also with Big Bubba Clinton for a stint as Treasury Secretary during which he enacted the policy perhaps most singularly responsible for our current meltdown.

And now he’s busy tarnishing our poor Princess Sparkle Pony’s cabinet. He goes on talk shows and enrages the living shit out of people by claiming the notorious AIG bonuses are lost forever. Once that fury dies down, he goes with Obama to a crucial meeting with the credit card companies, during which they’re supposed to be telling them to stop being such usurious pricks. And falls asleep.

Can we just team him up with the other most-hateable Clintonite (good ol’ Dick Morris) to go fight crime under the names “Toe-Sucker and the Douche”?

Prince Cold Serves AIG And Banks

I like to think this is what the Obamas’ internal monologue sounds like:

My ♥(-On) For Andrew Cuomo Grows 50 Million Sizes This Day

Just yesterday I was at the U.S. Embassy here in Madrid. While waiting there for a looong time is a usual thing, I’m usually greeted at the end of it by a smiling Spanish face. Yesterday, the U.S. government employee loomed large (and less friendly), and the whole thing brought back memories of going to the Post Office in New York on April 15. Suffice to say that I was all fired up and anti-government-employee when I got into work today. Then I saw this:

Andrew Cuomo has gotten most of the huge AIG bonuses back.

Yup, the American recipients of the horrifyingly disgusting super-bad no-good bonuses at AIG have surrendered them to Cuomo, after he made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.

The attorney general noted that about 47 percent of $165 million in retention bonuses was awarded to Americans, accounting for nearly $80 million. All told, Mr. Cuomo said, A.I.G. employees have agreed to return about $50 million in bonuses.

Mr. Cuomo acknowledged that some bonus recipients declined to give back bonuses, especially those overseas who are outside the jurisdiction of New York State…

A.I.G.’s chief executive, Edward M. Liddy, told Congress last week that he had asked employees to give back half of their bonuses. Mr. Cuomo responded that this was inadequate.

Oh, Congress, this is how it’s done. Use legal means (meaning: Don’t fuck around with words like “attainder” and “post-facto”) to get their names, then give them 2 options: Give it back, or those bus tours terrorizing AIG houses will be parked outside your door in the morning.

Grassley Talks About Tit-Sucking Like It’s A Bad Thing

At first, I was wondering why this guy’s trying to emblazon a scurrilous association between tit-sucking and those rat bastards at AIG into the national consciousness. And then I saw his political affiliation. Methinks Representative Chuck Grassley (R-IA) may be hiding the same secret that many, many other GOP members are…

Regardless of his aversion to boobies, this is just funny. Period.

Barney Is Frank-ly Adorable. Again.

Every once in a while, I wonder why I love Barney Frank so much. Is it the fact he seems like he’d look adorable in a bowtie? Maybe. Is it the fact that his cheek fat makes him look like a smiling child cartoon? Kinda. Is it that his voice sounds like a character from Hanna Barbara? Yes, that’s definitely part of it.

But stuff like this is really why:

Rep. Barney Frank charged Monday that a decision by financially strapped insurance giant AIG to pay millions in executive bonuses amounts to “rewarding incompetence.”

Echoing outrage expressed on both sides of the political aisle in the wake of revelations that American International Group will pay roughly $165 million in bonuses, Frank said he believes it’s time to shake up the company.

“These people may have a right to their bonuses. They don’t have a right to their jobs forever,” said Frank, a Massachusetts Democrat who is chairman of the House Financial Services Committee.

He’s also sarcastic, smart, and (seemingly) principled as hell.

* With regard to anti-choice Republicans, who were advocating cuts in health care programs that benefited women and children, Frank commented “conservatives believe that from the standpoint of the federal government, life begins at conception and ends at birth.”

* When Frank supported raising the speed limit to 65 m.p.h., he told liberals who disagreed with him that he would “only listen to people on this issue who actually drive 55 m.p.h.”

* “I’m used to being in the minority. I’m a left-handed, gay Jew. I’ve never felt, automatically, a member of any majority.”

* “Rather than the boy who cried wolf, George Bush is the reverse. He claims that there is nothing wrong when there is. He’s the boy who cried, ‘Nice doggie.'” — Frank, critiquing President Bush, whom he said has been unable to face the reality of the war in Iraq and the nation’s economy.

(and updates!)

When Senator John McCain tried to avert attention from his sagging poll numbers and trainwreck of a running mate insert himself into the financial bailout negotiations by “suspending his campaign,” Barney Frank called out the raw political stunt:

“It’s the longest Hail Mary pass in the history of either football or Marys.”

“McCain is Andy Kaufman in his Mighty Mouse costume – ‘Here I Come to Save the Day,’” Frank said as he left a Thursday morning caucus meeting with House Democrats, saying the Republican presidential candidate’s decision to enter the mix “is not helpful.” “He hasn’t been involved,” Frank said. “He doesn’t know anything about it.”

Frank also mocked the idea that McCain could help with the details, quipping, “I guess if I wanted expertise there, I’d ask Sarah Palin.”

You Got Populism In My Activism! You Got Activism In My Populism!

Obama knows it’s coming. It’s been fomenting for a long time, but the anger is coming to a head, and pretty soon it’ll have one place to go: Him.

I’ve been staying away from the populist-based rants against the bankers somewhat, mostly because I’m so goddamned angry at them that I become a sputtering, incoherent blog of mucous (as opposed to…) shortly after beginning to even contemplate the problems. Today’s article in the Times, though, is showing that I’m far from alone, and that my impatience with the administration’s lack of punishment of these ne’er-do-wells is hardly unique.

For all his political skills and his capturing of the nation’s desire for change in the 2008 election, Mr. Obama, a product of Harvard Law School who calls upscale Hyde Park in Chicago home, has shown little inclination to strike a more populist tone. The danger, aides said, is that if he were to become identified as an advocate for the banks and Wall Street, people could take out their anger on him.

“The change now is you have a free-floating economic anxiety that has expressed itself in a kind of lashing out at those being bailed out and people who are bailing out,” Michael Kazin, a professor at Georgetown University who has written extensively on populism. “There’s not really a sense of what the solution is.”

“I do think there’s a potential for a ‘damn everybody in power’ kind of sentiment,” Mr. Kazin said.

I know that this is mostly coming to a head because of AIG’s revelation that they’re handing out a ton of bonuses. Because they’ve handled this year so well. While that, in and of itself, didn’t piss me off (can’t punish a dog for licking itself), I have to say Larry Summers did. Yes, he called them “outrageous,” but basically said the government’s hands are tied, and that no real punitive action can be taken. This, I just cannot accept. In a land where some asshat can get $6 million dollars for crashing his motor home, since he didn’t realize cruise control wasn’t self-steering, how could is POSSIBLY be that these execs (whose asses we taxpayers own now) aren’t liable for what they do with our money? Or what they don’t do (i.e. lend it)?

Add to this the banks’ staunch rebuke of EFCA (The Employee Free Choice Act, which gives employees the choice of whether they’d like anonymous votes or write-in cards to determine whether or not they unionize), which they’re financing with OUR FUCKING MONEY–and which, once again, spits in their federal overlords’ faces without fear of retribution–and the menace in me really began to build.

Finally, I checked my Bank Of America credit card balance recently to find that they’ve quintupled my interest rate. I called to find out why. Turns out my last payment arrived a day late, since their site had crashed. No late fee. Just quintupled my goddamned interest rate without notifying me. When I said, basically, “Your website fuckup sounds like YO problem,” they said they’d talk to someone higher up about lowering the rate. That was a week ago, to no avail.

I’ve had it. We’re these assholes’ bosses. They should be licking our taints with gratitude, and, instead, they’re trying to gouge us for more. Fine. I kind of expect that from the greedy fucks. But where is the oversight we were promised? How is it that they can get away with this? How can the new administration not at least threaten to fire all the execs and hire brand new people to take over. We’re in charge; we should be able to make that happen in a democracy. ESPECIALLY if these fuckwits actually take conservatives’ advice and “Go Galt.”*

So, yes, my populist buttons have all been pushed. But, the real-world application to my own life has now pushed my activist buttons as well, since I know I’m not the only one this has happened to. So, yes, this is my call to action. Don’t take this shit lying down. The banks need us (and our business) at least as much as we need them (Remember: We are paying their fucking salaries right now, and, as far as they’re concerned, forever. Asking to get our own money back, without having to pay ridiculous penalites for the honor, is NOT overstepping our bounds). Meanwhile, take your anger to Washington. Let them know there must be consequences.

My personal reasons are, of course, a bit pressing. I’d like to think I could return to the U.S. in the foreseeable future, but this shit is making that possibility seem remote, which is making me angry. (If I did, how could I buy a car, let alone a house? etc. etc…) It’s one thing to think that anti-intellectualism has pushed me out, due to the idiot-in-chief making it harder for academics to find work. It’s quite another to have the opportunities for academics grow, but be economically unable to return because of the banks WE JUST FINANCED refusing to help out. Are you fucking kidding me???

In short (too late): Let the execs “Go Galt.” The rest of us’ll “Tyler Durden” their asses to the ground. At the very least, we’ll win cause we’re so pretteh.

*In case you missed it, the latest trend in conservative punditry is to tout Ayn Rand’s book, Atlas Shrugged as prophetic, and to encourage executives to do as John Galt did therein, and stop producing in protest of what he feels is unfair punishment for his success. First of all, I’ve been following this because, what better way to make your party appeal to lots and lots of people when its numbers are declining than referencing AYN RAND??? REALLY??? It would be like, when the Dems were in trouble, they started telling everyone how wonderful Cat Stevens is. Egads, man, what a stupid move. Secondly, this has just amazed me. The idea that, if EFCA passes and those mean unions can move in on the private sector, these execs should hold their breath till they go away…well, let’s put it this way: They’d be overpaid lazy assholes striking over petty reasons. Sound familiar?