Glenn Beck, You Swine

I. Am. Nostradamus.

When this whole Swine Flu thing broke, I turned to my husband and said, “Wouldn’t it be hilarious and awful if people like Lou Dobbs said we only caught it here because of illegal Mexican immigrants? Hahahaha.” Well, I was wrong about Lou Dobbs spreading the word, but it’s certainly out there:

“Illegal aliens are bringing in a deadly new flue strain. Make no mistake about it,” blares Michael Savage.

“I’ve blogged for years about the spread of contagious diseases from around the world into the US as a result of uncontrolled immigration,” writes Michelle Malkin.

“What happens if there’s a rash of deaths in Mexico… and if you’re a family in Mexico and people are dying and Americans are not, why wouldn’t you flood this border?” announces Glenn Beck.

These loud mouths are also trying to convince their audiences that Islamic terrorists have somehow been able to do what has eluded scientists elsewhere in the world — concoct a deadly new flu virus — and then introduce it into the Mexican population.

“What better way to sneak a virus into this country than to give it to Mexicans….then spread a rumor there there are construction jobs here, and there they come,” blathers [Neal] Boortz.

Savage — “make no mistake about it” — believes that radical Islamic countries planted the virus in Mexico knowing that humans make the “perfect mules for bringing the strain into America.”

Let’s look at this ridiculous hate-mongering: It’s blatantly wrong, overtly racist, and absolutely tone-deaf. That’s right, it’s a ConservaYAHTZEE!

It’s one thing to use this pandemic for selfish purposes. Hell, the media’s doing the same thing, calling it a “killer virus” (has anyone who’s been treated not gotten better?) that’s run amok (it’s a ratings BONANZA!). Using it, however, to divide a country that is actively trying to unite…well, that’s a specialty only of today’s GOP.

It’s a big tent, motherfucker.

Ingraham Beat Coulter To Calling Meghan McCain Fat

Oooooh…Ann Coulter’s gonna be PISSED! Her fellow skinny blonde conservative, Laura Ingraham, took all the easy Meghan McCain mockery before she had the chance!

INGRAHAM (mocking): Ok, Meghan. Do you think that anyone would be talking to you if you weren’t kind of cute and you weren’t the daughter of John McCain? Or do you just think that they would just think that you were just another Valley Girl gone awry?

MADDOW: You picked a fight with somebody who’s definitely going to fight back.

MCCAIN: Yeah. Well, if it was, you know, if it was too hot in the kitchen, I’d get out. I know what I’m doing and I know that I’m creating, she probably will respond, she already has, but I’m sure she’ll respond harder, but this dialogue should take place. It should. I think that you know, often times and I think it’s relevant because I am a Republican. I still consider myself a Republican and that’s why it’s relevant because I’m someone within the party.

INGRAHAM (mocking): How long before she totally totally abandons the Daily Beast and makes it official at the Huffington Post?

MCCAIN: And I think there’s an extreme on both parties and I hate extreme. I don’t understand. I have friends that are the most radically conservative and radically liberal people possibly ever and we all get along. We can find a middle ground.

INGRAHAM (mocking): Ok, I was really hoping that I was going to get that role in the Real World, but then I realized that, well, they don’t like plus-sized models. They only like the women who look a certain way. And on this 50th anniversary of Barbie, I really have something to say.

Awright, girlies, I know you get upset when one of your own says something bad about one of your bestest ever girlfriends, but come on…Meghan McCain? Really? She discredits herself when she opens her mouth, so why bother? I mean, that’s why I haven’t commented on either Laura Ingraham, Michelle Malkin, or Ann Coulter till now.

And why now? Selfish reasons. While watching poor Meghan McCain unknowingly embarrass herself on Maddow last night, I turned to my husband and said, “Coulter will call her a fat bimbo in 3…2…”

So, yeah, I’m just writing this to proclaim, once again, that I. know. mean. bitches.

So what’s next? Well, of course, all of Coulter’s BFF are going to chime in (ain’t a serious girlfight without your friends helping you out), and I’ll put my money on any or all of them attacking her useless degree, her status as only recently employed, and her recent decision to become a Republican to please her daddy, who pays her rent, since she doesn’t agree with conservative views on social issues and doesn’t have any economic beliefs that aren’t on a bumper sticker (“Pork bad”). Then it’ll be on to her family (her dad, who recently lost in a landslide to what the Right considers an “empty suit,” and her pill-popping mom), her clothes, her hair, and her makeup. And more fat jokes (“It sure doesn’t look like she doesn’t like pork” and the like). Pretty standard.

As a quick note, I’m so fucking tired of people saying, “I didn’t take [class name here] in college,” and using that as an excuse to not know anything about it (Meghan McCain claimed on Maddow–after saying how bad “pork” is–that she doesn’t want to venture opinions on economic issues, since she didn’t take econ in college). Read a goddamned book, and stop telling the world that your lack of intellectual curiosity is somehow an out. You’re in the public forum. Pick up a fucking newspaper. (Or all of them, if you’re the queen of the idiots, Sarah Palin.)